Home

I've struggled over the last few years with the concept of "Home". I love the town I grew up in. I love the scenery, the seasons, the places and of course the people that are related to it. Mountains, cool breezes, perfect views and peaceful rivers, my family and old friends. I left all that a few years ago to come out to "the flat land" and go to school. I really feel like during school is really when I found myself. I found more of me here, in this place, than anywhere else I had been. When I finished school, I prayed and prayed and prayed and felt that I should stay here and look for a job. Even though I felt more "me" here, I still called "Home" my mountain home. I did the right thing to stay here. God has been very faithful to me here and I even met my husband at my first job here in town. Then I got married and I call two places "home"... I figured one is wherever my husband is and one is my mountain family home.

Over the weekend I travelled home (to my mom's) for a family function with a friend. It's my favorite time of year there. Fall! Nice cool breezes, you can wear your t-shirt and jeans and be comfortable. There are apples and leaves starting to change colors. It hit me that I really missed there sometimes. I was very content on Sunday afternoon to just sit and be in Mama's living room while everyone was out for a drive. I had a moment I don't get very often anymore, even in Greenville, an hour alone in the house.

My mind had been unsettled in the week before I came to visit. I had it on my heart to do a Bible study at a local half way house. After fighting the urge for at least 2 months, I had gone to visit the house and the girls before I was to start the study there this week. I felt miserable. When I left there, I felt so discouraged. I felt like a pompous, overzealous, hypocrite...."the whitest white girl ever" is one way to put it. No, the girls were not all different races, the majority were white like me, but I just felt out of my zone, out of place. I had walked in in my work clothes (professional attire) and carrying my Vera Bradley bag. Did it matter at that point that I bought my Vera in a "retirement sale" for 40% off? Not really... all I felt in my heart is that I was rubbing in their faces that I had enough money for a Vera. I felt my confidence (in me, personally and also in my "call" to be there) starting to drift. I was starting to doubt. I started to wonder what in the world I was going to have in common with these women and why they would EVER listen to me. It was a tough week and I'm not the best at making extra time to pray for things. I was disappointed when my own Bible study that I attend, which was scheduled for a prayer night, had to cancel. So, to find a free hour, alone in my mom's house to ask God why I felt such unease in the halfway house was a true blessing.

I asked, "Why am I there, Lord? What purpose do you have for me there? It definitely wasn't comfortable. How am I going to get comfortable?" God never ceases to amaze me.... as much as I continued to try and ask questions, the louder I heard in my head a worship song I truly love. It was overwhelming, so eventually, I started to hum the song and sing it in my head, recalling the words....

"Into your courts I run with praises flowing from my heart, every day I live to sing your song, it's the anthem of my life. I want to spend my days in your presence Lord and bow before your throne. In the house of God is where I find my peace, it's where I find my...HOME is heaven, one day Lord I will live. In your courts, you'll find me, in worship at your feet. Hide me now, in the shadows of your wings, where I will be...where I will be.." (Thank you Marty Sampson and Hillsong!)

I just sat there and basked in the glory... I felt the presence of God and it was all I could do to not come undone... what a sweet moment. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to serve you. It doesn't matter where I go. If God goes with me, it may as well be Home. I can have that same peace I had in my mama's living room at the halfway house if I look for God there and stop looking for "me" there. It's not what I'm going to do there. It's what God is trying to do there. I hope I can always remember to look for God, but, knowing the my nature, I'll have to learn this lesson again.

something old, something new...

I love Barnes and Noble. When I was a student in my professional program, I studied there all the time. I would take in my books and some music (with ear phones of course) and study all day sometimes. Now that I'm working, I don't get there as much as I used to. I usually just go in when I'm looking for a book to research something that has hit me as interesting. This week, I stopped in to find a peaceful corner to finish my Bible study. We go there to read up on something while our partners read periodicals or the kids are perusing books in the book section. Sometimes we go there seeking a specific purpose, other times just to browse and see if anything strikes us. I can think of a time that I read an entire book there so I didn't have to buy it for class. I even studied for the GRE from a review book at B&N while I was there one afternoon. (Thank you, Kaplan review book, for the score that got me in!) This week I just perused books on crochet and home design when I finished my study. I started conversations with a lady sitting near me in comfy chairs. I enjoyed my time there, very relaxing.

What did we do in town before there was Barnes and Noble booksellers? Where did we go to find information and do some quick research? Where could we find a world of information in one location? You know, it was called "The Library". What is the difference in B&N and the Library? The library is a little more quiet. There are no beverages from Starbuck's at the Library. Barnes and Noble is always cold. There's actually a lot of noise to cut through at B&N to study (blenders, espresso makers, coffee presses, overhead speakers, conversations). The books at the Library can be truly borrowed and not purchased. But when it comes right down to it: It's the same old information (books books books....words, thoughts, ideas) but in a new wrapping.

Have you noticed how they do that with Bibles these days? It's not just the plain old black, brown or burgundy leather choices of old. You can get updated text versions boasting "easier to understand" wording. You can get cool covers. I saw pink, suede, metal cased, clasped, purse sized, large print, and multiple devotional Bibles. It's the same old information, just in a new wrapper. If you wanna get anything out of it, you still have to open it and dig deep. You can't expect it to just open up for you and the words jump off the page.

I think we do that with a lot of things these days. Church.... if you don't like the one you're at because it's too "old fashioned", you change to one in a new wrapper... more contemporary, must make it more Holy, right? But the message is the same. You won't find God in a house of worship unless you open your heart and seek him there. If you go in looking for your friends or a comfort zone instead of God, you'll still be distracted, disappointed and unfulfilled. You can walk in and out of either one and never really know God if you are not actively seeking him yourself on a daily basis.

Praise and Worship.... The music gets more upbeat, more engaging, more invigorating, more contemporary and hymns seem forgotten. In reality, it's just the same old information just in a new wrapper. Take the hymn "Just as I Am" (one stanza): Just as I am without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me and that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God I come, I come." The guy who wrote that song, he's just a sinner like everyone else and he admits it. He says, "I'm not perfect, I didn't ask you to die for me, but you did. And because you did, even when I was a sinner, I come to you Lord, I owe you my all". Or, the hymn "At the Cross": "At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light and the burdens of my heart rolled away. It was there by faith I received my sight and now I am happy all the day" vs. the contemporary Hillsong's "Lead me to the Cross": "Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss. Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out, bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you, oh lead me... lead me to the cross". Not so different in the message. Some people say the newer songs "stir the emotions" more, others say the old hymns are stiff and unappealing. Some people say the hymns are "dead words", other's say that the contemporary songs are blasphemous or an abomination. It's just something to argue about, to divide us more. But, honestly, if you don't come before God with a heart prepared for worship (surrendered to him, open, loving, accepting) then no matter how "stirring" the worship, you won't find the intimacy you are seeking. You can find intimate worship anywhere, no matter what wrapper it's in. I love music, I love praise and worship, but in the last few months, I've realized more than ever that I can find that anywhere... even in the breeze in the trees seen while sitting on my granny's carport, the sound of Henry's laugh or the look on all our faces when we see him take steps, or when Robbie does something sweet (like the dishes, haha). These are things that bring glory to God. So, my heart jumps for joy and I feel the love of God all around me and I thank him for his abundant grace and kindness to me, to us, even though I didn't ask for it, he just gave it, just as I am. That, is praise.

So, don't forget the Library. There's a lot of information to be found there. There's no use in talking bad about it or acting as if you've never been to it. And don't let the new wrapper fool you, B&N is essentially a contemporary library. But no matter which place you choose to call your information station, you'll still have to search out the section you are looking for and search through books that aren't in alphabetical order (even when are supposed to be) to find what you're looking for. A bookseller or the librarian may be able to take you to the section, but they can't read the book for you and, unfortunately, the information won't seep through by osmosis. Happy reading. Can't wait to hear what y'all find out!! :D

are you under house arrest?

I have a confession to make: blogging has not been the only "Holy Spirit urging" I have felt lately. During a recent Bible study with a group of wonderful women, I began to feel the urging to take a Bible study to a local half way house. The study we were doing is about healing, restoring, reconciliation. A message we all need to hear in our path to spiritual maturing. I have hesitated. I have tried to rationalize reasons to not go. I have even heard a little voice that says, "They won't hear what you have to say." But I've also had some reassuring moments, including a message I heard recently at church.

We went out to Black Jack a couple weeks ago and the pastor usually starts his message with some joke or colloquialism to get us all engaged in the message. This particular joke was about a man applying for job. The employer asked him about any crimes he may have committed and he ashamedly said he had some things on his record. The employer asked in return, "Well, just how many felonies do you have?" To this the applicant replied, almost excitedly, "Oh, oh no, I don't have any felonies, only misdemeanors." The pastor went on to deliver a really great message about sin. It definitely sparked ideas in my mind and it definitely was a conversation stirrer not only in our truck on the way to lunch, but also with the couple we were dining with. We ALL have sins. We ALL have things in our lives we are not the most content with from our past. We ALL have things we think we have buried sufficiently. But there is none of us better than another. "There is no difference,for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." (Romans 3:22-23). But the good news is that we "are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:24). Paul has a way of being wordy, so I want to paraphrase v. 24 if that's okay: We are all made right before God because of Christ's sacrifice for our life. He makes us ALL worthy of his redeeming love, no matter how deeply embedded our sin is, how "big" we think it is, or the length of time we've had it/done it. That's the "good news" of the gospel in a nutshell.

In my daily readings, I had recently come across a verse that went along with this. I was reading in Acts were the disciples had been jailed for preaching and, particularly, healing, in the temple courts. They were falsely accused of heresy or blasphemy (essentially going against the Jewish church). Here is the account:
Acts 5:17-20

Then the high priest and all his associates, who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy. They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out. "Go, stand in the temple courts," he said, "and tell the people the full message of this new life."

I want to focus on v. 20 (the one in bold). As these men are leaving jail, they are given a message to go and tell! But look at the message. The message is a message of new life! The most important detail of the testimony is not "God sent an angel to free me from prison", rather it is "You can have freedom from the lies of this world through Jesus Christ!"

When we chose to repent (admit we have sin, tell God we're sorry for what we've done and begin to live our life without that sin anymore) our lives can truly be lives of freedom. We are no longer held back by the shackles that formerly held us down: lies, hurtful actions towards those around us, bitterness, envy. Some of us may feel guilty for our crimes. Some of us may feel like we haven't done anything that bad. Some of us may pretend we've never done anything that bad but have the biggest lie of our life buried inside. We may put on masks to be accepted, we may let all our sins show boldly to see if we can get the attention of someone out there. You can lie to yourself. You can lie to God, but he knows it is a lie. He knows you better than you know yourself. King David says in Psalms:

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
(Psalm 139:1-4)

Whether you tell God or not, He is listening, watching, and hurting. He is waiting on you to tell the truth. You're going to have to come to court and stand before the ultimate judge. Don't worry, none of us have a lawyer on the level of what we need in His court, so a lawyer has been appointed for us, his name is Jesus. He has a way of getting God to go easy on us, a full pardon for our sins. We can walk freely from the courtroom and "tell the full message of this new life". What's stopping you from confessing your sin? What's stopping you from making choices to save your life? Why are you living under house arrest when you could be dancing freely in the streets sharing his message of new life? The keys are right in front of you, but you have to choose to 1. pick them up (take Christ into your heart as a possession) and 2. use them (unlock the door to your past and move forward!).

the hope of blessings

Over the past couple of weeks, I have had some fantastic blessings!! No, I didn't come into a great fortune or anything. I mean, just awesome little things. For example, a woman in the operating room (where I work on Wednesdays) came to me with an wonderful comment on how happy the staff are that I came to work for Dr. Habal and how much smoother things run when I work with him. I didn't really even know what to say, it was just such a blessing to know that I wasn't working "in vain", to know that I was appreciated. Another patient gave me my first Thank You card at this job, another one requested to see me before she left the office (b/c we had talked on the phone several times to help alleviate her fears). I wanted to blog about the blessings, but then I didn't, I didn't want anyone to feel I was "bragging". I do struggle with pride quite a bit and I didn't want to come across as conceited. But, it's not conceited, it's humbled. This is the one that finally got me to blog.

I met a girl with many troubles at my last job. (I know this is long, but bear with me, it's worth it). She was a patient who had seen abuse, drug addiction and diseases that were difficult to cope with. She had a boyfriend here, but not many other contacts that didn't do drugs. She and I found common ground in being "mountain girls" and having a love for pinto beans (like our mama's would make). At the time, I had a Bible Study in my house. I invited her one night that we were having beans and corn bread with our dinner. To my surprise, she came. She was anxious, afraid she wouldn't be "accepted" by the other girls, but she was. She was worried she wouldn't know enough to speak up, but her life experiences gave her plenty of ground to stand on. She bounced in and out of my life for a couple of years. Usually I would hear from her when she had done something wrong or was about to do something wrong so that she could "confess" it to someone, and still feel accepted. She never got money from me, or pity. She always got the truth and was told, many times, she needed to straighten up. I saw her at church a couple of times. Both times, she didn't make it through the service. Then, she got high one night and cheated on her boyfriend and became pregnant. She considered abortion. She had a lot of "issues". I talked with her and we discussed how having an abortion, with her history, may leave her with more ghosts in her closet. She already had enough reasons to feel bad about herself and turn to drugs, did she need one more?

I lost contact soon after. I figured I had been too blunt and burned my bridge (many of you know me and know how I can have "tone issues"). I heard she was in the care of an GYN I knew for her pregnancy and that she was getting the medical care she needed. It's been over a year since I have heard from her. Then I got a random phone call last week from a private number. I answered (I thought it was my dad) and low and behold, it was her! I thought, oh Lord, where is she now, what has she gotten into? But let me tell you about blessings. This girl pulled it together. She has been clean since before the baby was born. Yep, she had the baby, a girl, 9 months ago, the day after Robbie and I got married. She and the boyfriend are still together. They just bought some land (actually not far from here) and plan to put a house there. They are getting married. More importantly, she got saved a few months ago at a local church where she attends a Women's Bible Study weekly. The Bible she has is one that I gave her a long time ago. She has been thinking of me and feels she owes so much of where is she is now to me. I was about to interrupt her and tell her it wasn't me, when she did it for me. She said, "Well, I know it was God, but he definitely used you as a vessel." That's all she wanted, just to say, Thank You.

I was so humbled and amazed at God's greatness in that moment. I'm so glad I took the time to answer the phone, even though my dinner was getting cold. I even had tears in my eyes afterwards. That blessing gave me so much HOPE! There are so many people out there I have tried to help before and many times I have felt like there was little hope, why did I bother. They didn't change, then this sweet girl calls me. I've known her at least 3 years. Her battle was a long one before she even got to me.

I was reading a scripture in Ezekiel this morning (34:26), it says, "I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessings." The study note in my Bible says, "Blessing, the power of life promised to God's people through Abraham..." I was struck by the meaning for blessing. "The power of life" and that the power was "promised to God's people". So, of course, I had to chase it. This reference goes back to Genesis 12:1-3, another one of the covenants.

Genesis 12:1-3
1. The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country,
your people and your father's household and
go to the land I will show you.
2 "I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

I found a lot of hope in these verses. I know so many people on whom I just want to give up sometimes. I see myself become more and more cynical when it comes to them, when the same blessing that has been promised to me, has been promised to them. If they don't know God, then I have been given the "power of life" (blessed) so that I can be used as a "power of life"(blessing) so that they can see the the power and in turn find a relationship with God. Shouldn't the power of life give me Hope, not skepticism? Shouldn't the hope of blessings in my own life steer me to continue to hope for blessings in the lives of those around me?

Thank you Lord for your blessings and the hope I see in my life through them. Thank you for the power of life that saved me from my sins. Thank you that you used me as your power on earth to help someone else see their hope and find their way. Thank you for your greatness. Help others to find their power, give them the strength to stand against their enemies and claim the power of life through your name in their own lives. I have hope Lord for those in my life that don't know you. I have hope they can overcome their issues and find power in your name. Praise you that you can overcome our enemies when we trust in you. Praise your holy and mighty name. Amen.

then one day he saw the door...

A few thoughts are swarming (and have been for over a week). I was watching America's Got Talent again this week and my girl Emily David was back on there. She said, "I've been waiting all my life for this door to open". Sharon says, "The door is standing wide open, all is left is for you to walk right through it". A few days later, I was watching the Olympics when Cullin Jones (now an Olympic Gold Medalist) said that when he was a child, the first time he really got into the water at a water park, he had a near-drowning incident. He said he had a choice to overcome his fears and never get in the water again, or face it. He didn't want to "miss out" on anything, so he faced it. This concept of doors has been redundant in my thoughts lately. It had to be talked about.

What is keeping you from walking through your door? Has God brought you to a place that is a new realm for you? Has he taken you so deep into your heart to a place you have hidden sins or memories? Maybe you have already knocked on the door... the door is standing wide open. Why won't you walk through? Most likely the answer is fear, but what is it you fear? Fear itself? God makes a promise in Jeremiah that may be of help.

Jeremiah 33:17ff
"For this is what the LORD says: 'David will never fail to have a man to sit on the throne of the house of Israel, nor will the priests, who are Levites, ever fail to have a man to stand before me continually to offer burnt offerings, to burn grain offerings and to present sacrifices.' "

The word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: "This is what the LORD says: 'If you can break my covenant with the day and my covenant with the night, so that day and night no longer come at their appointed time, then my covenant with David my servant—and my covenant with the Levites who are priests ministering before me—can be broken and David will no longer have a descendant to reign on his throne. I will make the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who minister before me as countless as the stars of the sky and as measureless as the sand on the seashore.'"

I know this may seem like an obscure text, it was odd to me at first, too, but I felt like it went with this blog. After a few days, I realized there really is an awesome promise in the middle. In the Old Testament, God makes covenants with his people. A covenant is simply a promise, something that can be trusted to the upmost degree. God has made a promise that through the line of David (the King) there will always be a king on the throne. The ultimate person in this line being Christ. God is saying, "If you can break my covenant with day and night, then you can change the outcome of my entire plan for the world I created". That's pretty powerful. Do you think you can change his mind? I know I sure can't. There is power in the bonds made by God. Power in your relationship with him. Power in the words he has spoken. Power in the words he has spoken for you through his promises. The Bible is full of promises that are as good for the people in the old and new testament as they are for you.

If God has brought you to a door, then he has a purpose for you pertaining to it. Take that step and see what he has for you. If you fear what that door may bring, then look to his promises. If you don't know where to start, flip to the back of the bible and look for the index, search by topic and chase down what you need. There are also books of scripture called "God's Promises for...." that you can purchase at retailers. You can also pray and ask God to give you a promise/scripture to stand on. Here are a few to get you started:
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Psalm 94:14
For the LORD will not reject his people;
he will never forsake his inheritance.

Psalm 46:1-5
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

Psalm 91 (sorry, it's long, but totally worth the read)
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

annoyance

So, my cat, Leo, is a crazy creature. At least, that's how I end up viewing him at some point each day. He can be very gentle and sweet and sit at my feet, cuddling up for the night. It's very peaceful when he just rests with me... but the morning is different. In the morning, sometimes, he annoys me more than anything. If the sun is up, he thinks I should be up. As much as I am a creature of habit, he is moreso! He is so used to me getting up at 6:00a.m. that if I am not up at 6, he is meowing... marching the foot of the bed... walking on my night stand... tapping the blinds with his nose or paws... trying to turn my lamp over... picking the carpet!! So, I roll out of bed and I start to get ready for work.

As if it isn't enough he got me up so early, when I get out of the shower, he sits at my feet and meows. Why? Because I have a crazy cat who actually plays FETCH! Yep, like a dog. There are little bits of paper and gum wrappers (he loves silver gum wrappers) all over my house because he likes to play. He will bring the paper and lay it next to my feet and meow and Meow and MEOW until I pick it up and throw it. If I rip a piece of paper, he will stop whatever he is doing to come to see if I am ready to play. He loves to play! It's like he lives for it. He will play for hours if I let him. As long as you throw it (and he sees you do it), he will continue to go get it and bring it back. As the day goes on, if I get into a book or a crochet project, he sits on the book or tries to get into the yarn or tries to "make bread" on the project (he likes soft things). In the evening, when he is ready to go to bed, he impatiently looks at me and meows until he settles wherever I am to rest a while. He walks around til he has my attention, then lays down for loving and petting.

I videoed him playing fetch this morning, thinking I would post it on the KimandRobbie blog for our families. Then one of those epiphanies hit this evening. I love this cat's persistence!! Don't get me wrong, it is completely annoying when he is trying to climb on the kitchen counter or lick the ice in my glass or even wake me at 6a.m.! But, I have to admire his tenacity. I wish I had that same persistent determination and abandon when it comes to my relationship with God. What if when I wake up, I wake him up and I keep praising and talking til he listens? What if I loved my time with him so much, that the minute I saw a second to spend with him, I brought my paper to his feet and begged him to play with me and just enjoyed every second I had with him? What if every night I looked for him before I went to bed so I could cuddle with him, get wrapped in his arms, be reminded I am loved and rest with that peace for the night? Thanks, Leo, I've learned a lot from you today!!

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

Psalm 92:1-2
It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name,
O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning
and your faithfulness at night,

Isaiah 26:3-4
You will keep in perfect peace him
whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD,
the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

Isaiah 26:9
My soul yearns for you in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for you.

Check out Leo doing his thing from this morning:

great expectations.

I don't know about your community, but here, there has been a lot of talk of "revival" and the desire for revival locally. When I was growing up in the mountains, our church held a revival at least once a year. As a child, I saw "revival" as a time where the community came out to hear a "fresh message" from a different pastor. Even people who went to other churches or people who didn't normally come to church at all would come to hear what the pastor had to say. I think the hope was that if you got the new people in, the Holy Spirit would "show up" and people would find salvation.

Now, I hardly hear of a church holding a revival. In a way, that makes sense, we should be daily seeking a new word from God for our hearts, thus reviving our fervor for God personally each day. We should be seeking out the lost sheep and bringing them to the fold ourselves each day through our actions and words. But are we? Maybe revivial, a fresh look at our spiritual life, is just what our communities need. I have been praying for community transformation for years. Moving to Greenville was an eye-opener in some ways for me. There is such a racial divide here. Why? What can heal those kinds of wounds, the ones that run deeper than we can fathom? What can reunite this place and revive God as the authority in this town and not drugs or gangs or even plain old political power? I came across this scripture in Isaiah recently and it really made me think of the place we are today. The Hebrew people have been in rebellion for quite some time and God is speaking to the people through the prophet, Isaiah:

Isaiah 58 1-12
"Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.

2 For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.

3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
"Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.

4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.

5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?

6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Talk about revival! In these times, "fasting" was more than praying for an answer, it was a religious ritual, something to do when everyone else did or something you did when you needed something. It's much like today when many of us make going to church on Sunday or Sunday and Wednesday ritual. We may also pray when we need something, but what do we do with the rest of our time? Sometimes, we even make our devotional time a ritual. A stale experience, not really seeking anything new, just going through the motions. What I get from this scripture is that we can not continue to have "superficial" faith and expect revival in our community or change in our own lives for that matter. You can't heal a deep wound with a bandaid, you have to get down deep a lay a foundation of suture (stiches) to pull it together from the inside out. We can't rebuild the foundations of a community without reaching into the depth of the problem and pulling it together, layer by layer, no matter how nasty it is on the inside. We have to make our words and our actions match, then "No longer will violence be heard in your land, nor ruin or destruction within your borders, but you will call your walls Salvation and your gates Praise." (Isaiah 60:18).

Praise you Lord for your greatness and your mercy. Praise you that you alone have this world in the palm of your hand. Thank you for your kindness, even when we are selfish and ungrateful. Help us Lord to call on your name, earnestly, passionately, wholeheartedly. Help us to have a better relationship with you. Let your glory fall on this community so our city can be guarded by Salvation and so our city gates will always usher in your praises, they will open and welcome you in. Out of our praise for you, let us open the gates to those who do not know you, welcoming them and equiping them for your service. Thank you Lord that you have heard our prayers. Let your will be done.