everyone's got talent

Robbie and I DVR a lot of TV. It seems everything we like to watch comes on at the same time or at times we're preoccupied, so we DVR it and when we get time to watch, we catch up. So, here it is Monday night and I am watching America's Got Talent. And I'm bawling. Like streams of tears down both cheeks. Why? Emily David. The last singer of the LA auditions. She's a heavy set 40 yr old single mother of 3 or 4 teens. She is pleasant. She has a gap in her upper front teeth and she is morbidly obese. She has sacrificed and sacrificed and sacrificed for her kids. She says in her montage, "I sometimes wonder if I'm worth trying for this. Then I look in the mirror and say, 'Why not me?'." She is insecure, but she steps out on the stage. When she does, she WAILS (and I mean that as an absolute compliment!!). She really was an amazing singer. As the judges told her how amazing she was, she broke down in tears. It's like I could see in her face that no one had ever told her how talented she really was, that she has a "natural gifting". She was still seeking that approval of the world. I just wanted to grab her and hug her oh so tight and tell her she was worth the applause. By being a loving and devoted mother, she was already being applauded in Heaven. By being a child of God, she is already loved unconditionally, she didn't need the crowd to give her that. She has a plan and a purpose in God's kingdom.

We all have a plan and a purpose (See Jeremiah 29:11.. I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and keep you, to give you hope and a future.") But the world can beat us down. It can beat us down through the choices of other people (abuse, neglect, abandonment, physical pain) or it beat us down with choices we make ourselves like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, choosing to look to a guy to make us feel good about ourselves instead of God, choosing to walk away from God even when we see him. Does any of that matter to God? He gave us "free will", that is, the power to make choices. God is not a dictator. He doesn't demand us to come to him. But he does ask us to. We get to choose. Your choices do matter to God. He would like for us to choose him. Once we have reconciled to him, the choices are not over. We have to chose daily to seek him. We also get to choose whether we make ourselves conceited or make ourselves available. You know what I mean. We get to decide if we are going to be "better" than someone else or if we are going to look past their exterior and get to the nitty gritty. Maybe this woman never knew her potential because no one ever leaned over and said, "You know, Emily, you are a wonderful person. I think you would be wonderful in our choir. You have a natural gift for bringing praise to God." Or (I'm gonna start using some personal examples here, sorry family/friends) "Heather, you take beautiful pictures. No one could capture the perspective the way you do. You have a real gift." "Bendy, you are an awesome and abundantly loving mother/grandma, no wonder you are so great with kids in your classroom. You are great at giving encouragement. You have a real gift for serving those around you with kindness." "Sarah, you are a very talented writer and communicator. You have such a unique outlook, it would be a shame for you to leave the classroom. The kids would be missing an amazing perspective. You have a real gift of understanding kids who think they are misunderstood. I think that is why you are so good with Henry. You seek to understand his strengths and encourage them to grow and blossom."

Think of the body. A arm is not much use without a hand, and a hand is not much good without a finger but those things are just what we see on the outside. Try using a finger that doesn't have an artery to give it nourishment. It is void. Do we see the artery carrying the blood? No, not physically, but without the artery, the finger turns black and falls off. The artery would not have blood to carry to the finger without the heart and the heart would not have oxygen to push around if not for the lungs. This is redundant, but the point is, there is no person too "small". I always heard that in children's sermons, but it needs to be spoken to so many adults as well. THERE IS NO PERSON TOO SMALL! We ALL have a place and purpose. Don't forget it!! Here's some proof for you:

Romans 12:3ff
"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."

If you don't know a personal relationship with God, start one. You can start by saying a simple prayer inviting him into your life and asking him to start showing you his purpose and plan for your life. That also involves following through and following him (making choices daily to do his will and not your will). If you already know him, start to look outside yourself. Look for ways to share God's love with those around you. Watch and see the giftings of each person around you and ENCOURAGE them to use their gifts. They may not even realize they are good at something until you point it out. Someone did this to me once and it caught me off guard, I was like, "really?" It was a true revelation. I had to take it captive and pray about it. It's one of the reasons this blog got started in the first place. (My sister is the writer, not me.) Use your gifts to make it all work. We all have a function. Every piece is integral. Seek him, know him, work as one with him. That is a life worth striving for.

wasted blessings

Ever since I kind of "restored" my relationship with God, I have had to remind myself that prayer is one of the strongest tools we can use as Christians. I forget all the time to pray. I hate to say that I even forget when someone asks me to pray for specific things. But as soon as I remember, I say a quick one. I wish I was more dilligent sometimes, like a true "intercessor", but I haven't worked my way up to that yet. Nonetheless, the Bible says that prayer avails much. That our prayers are heard. God answers them accordingly to his will. At one point in my life, I had almost daily low back pain related to scoliosis and a spinal birth defect I had when I was born. I wore a lift in my shoe to help keep my hips in balance and keep the pain at bay. The pain could get a lot worse some days, especially in the summer when all I wanted to wear was a flip flop or Birkenstocks that you couldn't get a lift in (without flinging it at someone as you walked). I wore that lift for over 20 years. A few years ago, I let a group of people at church pray over me that that pain would go away. It went away. 100%. I took the lift out of my shoe and it hasn't been back in there. Now, if I do something stupid (like try to lift a box of books) then I get what I deserve, but it's not the chronic pain I had before.

Recently, I was having pain from heel spurs and plantar fasciitis in my feet. Now that is some very painful stuff! If you have ever had them, you know what I'm talking about. The pain is progressive. The may hurt at first just in the morning, then just after you've been on them all day and taken a seat then decided to fix dinner. Then one day, it may be all the time. One way to help ease the pain when it gets to this point is to wear an Orthotic. That is, a mold for your foot/arches that you wear in your shoes. I would cry just thinking about it. I didn't want to put anything else back in my shoe. I know it sounds selfish and vain. But, God had set me free from the "chain" of that lift and I did not want to go back. I knew that if I could lose even 20 lbs and get the weight off of them that would just fix it. I could fix it. But every time I tried to exercise, I could hardly walk because of the pain with each step and there was no way to keep a true cardiac pace. I put up with the pain for a few months, getting worse and worse, then one day, at Bible study, I finally swallowed my pride and asked the ladies if they would pray for me. It was hard to believe that as I sat there, these women came and blessed me with their prayers. A few of them even had hands on my sweaty feet. I did not feel worthy of any of it. I did not feel worthy of healing. I knew I had been prideful, trying to fix the problem myself. I wasn't sure if prayer was going to work this time. Then the thought popped into my mind, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" I kept praying, please Lord, help me to heal these feet, I'll try to take better care of myself and lose some weight, etc. You know how we do. Why hadn't I just simply asked, "Lord, please heal my feet". Why did I have a "me" qualifier? So,after letting them pray, by the time I got home from Bible study, I felt like I could leap mountains and have no pain. I jumped up and down, nothing. Pressed on the former tender spots over the spurs, nothing! The next day, I pushed my limits, still, nothing!! God is so gracious and amazing ALL the time.

A few weeks have gone by and the thought struck me this week, "What are you doing with the blessing I gave you?" Now that is conviction. I knew immmediately what the referrence was to. I had gone for 1-2 walks since my healing. I had updated the Bible study ladies that their prayers were useful and I had spoken about it with one patient at work (who also had heel spurs). But, what am I doing with the blessing? Am I just holding it in? Maybe it means I'm supposed to share my testimony with more people (well, here's the blog) or maybe I'm supposed to invest the gifts God gives me in a better way. If I take the gift he gives me and bury it inside, who benefits from it? I'm sure I do. But how does it help the world? I believe that the purpose of God's will is to glorify himself. If I stock up my healing as a secret inside me, it is only me who glorifies God. But, if I share my testimony with others, say my mom for instance, she may glorify God for healing her litle girl from all that pain. She may be willing to ask for healing herself or be more open to praying for "impossible" things. If I share it with others who are hurting, they may reach out for God and ask him to heal them as well, or if they don't know him to start with, they might ask for a relationship with them so they can know someone so "glorious".

Once you have been given a gift from God, you should USE IT!! Water it, nurture it, grow it!! When you give someone a gift, doesn't it make you feel better to see them putting it to good use? He gave it to him so you could use it to gloriy him. What are you doing with the gift he gave you? Are you sitting on your butt writing blogs (like I am) or are you out there treating your body more like a temple and trying to get it back into shape? Are you giving love and kindness to the ones he blessed you with as family/friends or are you disrespecting them and causing them pain (to get attention or otherwise). Are you keeping your gifts a secret?

Lord, please help me to put the gifts you give me to good use. You have gifted me with a loving family, please let me respect and honor them. You have gifted me with a strong support group of friends/fellowship, help me remember to support and encourage them. You have gifted me with a wonderful, loving husband, help me to not take him for granted. Help me to support him and be the helpmate you planned for me to be. You have gifted me with emotional healing and unfailing love, worth and value, you gave me a purpose. Help me to never forget how far you have brought me and that you will always have a plan for me, that I matter in your kingdom. You have gifted me with physical healing, many times, times I did not even ask you to help, before I had enough faith to ask. Help me to do your will with this gift. Show me how to use it to glorify you. Give me the tools I need to take my next step in your will. Praise you for your goodness and greatness! How marvelous are your works!

asleep at the wheel

A continuation of "whatever it takes..." is where I was headed with this blog. The more I contemplated it, the more praying for God's will became more apparent. This scripture has been on my mind for days:

Mark 14:-38

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James and John along with him and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch." Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba, Father," he said, "every thing is possbile for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but your will be done." Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Even Christ prayed for God's will. "Not what I will, but your will be done." What a powerful affirmation that Christ was, indeed, human and that he asked for God's will. He is asking to not have to die. He is asking for a different ending to his life. If God had stepped in to save his own son from this humiliating death, then there would be no crucifixion, no resurrection. No redemption of sin. No power of life over death. Our lives would be eternally different. Where would our hope lie? Would there be any hope?

The second interesting point in this scripture is the second bolded line. "Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Let's back it up a minute. Jesus is praying in a garden the night he is arrested and taken to the so-called trial that leads to his crucifixion. He has prayed for the will of God to be done. He knows the steps and what will happen because he is also God. He could run, he could attempt to "change his destiny" but he doesn't. He asks his disciples to "keep watch". But what are they watching for? Kidnappers? murderers? flowers to bloom? the sun to rise? For real, they are watching for Judas and the guards. Jesus knows the will of God is that he be arrested and stand trial. It is God's will. Jesus asks his disciples to sit and watch for God's will to come. Then he comes and finds them sleeping, awakens them, and tells them to watch and pray. They still fall asleep. Could they not watch and pray for God's will for one hour? Watch and pray so they will not fall into temptation? Their spirits were willing, they have professed their love and devotion to Christ at the last supper. But their flesh is weak. They are weary with watching and have decided to give it a rest.

The temptation is to make God's will our own. To take things into our own hands. To try and rationalize everything when all we are told to do is "watch and pray". This is faith. This is discernment. To ask for God's will to be done and expect it. To watch for it, hopefully and expectantly. To pray for it faithfully. Can we not wait for "one hour" for God's will to be done? Why is our flesh so weak we can not wait even a short time for the answers he has to our prayers. Lord, give us the strength in our flesh to meet the strength of our spirit. GIve us the strength we need for our feet to follow the steps you lay out for us in our private moments with you, when our spirit is so willing. Keep us seeking you always, never slumbering in our own will. Amen.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
(Psalm 73:26).

whatever it takes...

Have you ever felt so passionate about someone or something that you have prayed this prayer, "Please, Lord, whatever it takes...". You might have said it about something you want. "Please, Lord, whatever it takes, let me get into this program." Something you need: "Please, Lord, whatever it takes, help me to get the money for the rent." Someone you love: "Please, Lord, whatever it takes, help them to know you, love you, follow you."

I was having a discussion with Robbie's grandma this week while we were waiting for his Dad to finish all his surgery stuff. In the midst of the conversation, we both realized we had said that same prayer for our families at some point. Please, Lord, whatever it takes. But she added something I've not added to it. She said, "Please, Lord, whatever it takes for ______________to be in your will, let it be done." Since Henry, my nephew, was born with special needs, I have had a lot of problems praying for God's will. I have questioned why bad things happen to good people. I have questioned why Henry? I have questioned why our family? I have questioned God's will. I will probably never fully understand it, but I surely should have just trusted it. Isn't that faith? To trust when we can't even understand? To call out to God, knowing he will never leave us, he will always hear our prayer? Do we really have to have an immediate answer? What if his will takes years to work out? Would you rather have something in the "now" or something that will change your life forever?

God is truly infinite. He truly has a purpose and a plan for all of our lives. Maybe where we go wrong is trying to figure out the end of the story ourselves. Instead, why not live each day seeking God's word and attempting to stay in line with it, loving those around us, reaching out to help anyone in need (despite race, culture or socioeconomic status). Leave the rest to his will.

With that being said, a close friend of mine is leaving town next week, going to another town to pursue God's purpose for her life. I know that God is going to bless her richly. Here's my prayer for her: Dear Lord, please bless my friend Heather as she prepares and takes a leap of faith. Prepare her heart and her mind. Lord, whatever it takes for Heather to be in your will, let it be done. Help her to discern each step you would have her to take as she envelops herself in you. Hem her in from behind and ahead. Protect her in every endeavor. Bless her with a life filled with love, friends and a spiritual family. Please also bless her with abundance!! Thank you for the friend that she is. Thank you for the love that she has to share with all those around her. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. Amen.

Best Wishes, Heather!! I love you!!

cardboard testimonies

Hey y'all... right after I posted the last post, I went to my friend's myspace and she had this YouTube video posted that very cool. It goes hand in hand with what I was just talking about. We could all carry our own personal cardboard placard. We are no better than the next guy. Check it out!!

investment profiles

We watched an interesting movie on our Indepence Day. "Hancock" with Will Smith and Jason Bateman. I've been waiting to blog so maybe I won't spoil the movie for people. In this movie, Hancock is a man with super hero powers. As a hero, he has LOADS of potential, but as a man, he doesn't see it. He is gifted beyond human reasoning, but he sees himself as a rotten individual, worthless. He sees himself as a piece of dirt, unworthy of his "calling". A public relations guru, Jason Bateman, is rescued from peril by the talents of Hancock. In return, he helps Hancock to restore his image, at first with "the people" then with himself. With some personal investment (of time, love, resources, kindness) one man helps another change his outlook. He sees his gifts as a purpose, no longer an obligation.

So many people out there are hurting and confused. They see themselves as dirt, dirty, or worthless. They have self-perceived notions of themselves. Some even grounded in lies, others in truth. Many of them don't even see the need to be alive. But God does. We all have a plan and a purpose. A lot of the time, we, as Christians, are the schmucks. We turn our back on people because they are dirty or we know they have a past. Why do we do that? I've done it. Why? Are we afraid of getting hurt? Are we afraid we'll be let down? What is it to US anyway?? Why does it matter what we think!! It only matters what God thinks, so why do we judge? Weren't we once lost in our own sins? How were we any better than them? Just reaching out, being kind, sharing a meal or telling someone, "You're worthwhile" can change their entire life outlook, especially when done consistently.

God reached out for you when you were lost. He loved you, was kind to you, asked you to seek him and follow his ways. The great commission (our "call" or purpose in our walk with God) in Matthew 28:19-20 says, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." It is our duty, as God's chosen, the chosen of Love, to share his love with those around us. This is our act of evangelism and fulfilling his Great Commission: Simple service. A helping hand. A hug. A listening ear. A voice of reason. A word of kindness. A word of hope. A word of love. An offer of salvation. A chance for freedom. A leap of faith. A life changed for eternity. A new world of possibilities. A world of purpose.

the chase

I was on the way to work Tuesday morning, early, trying to get more work done as usual. Our office has 2 sides of woods surrounding it. I saw on the sidewalk a small hound dog, like a beagle, with his nose to the ground (ie, he was huntin' somethin').... behind the dog, about 2 feet back, is what I believe to be a sleek gray cat. It's just a cute little picture... the dog hunting something intently, the cat seeming to be sneaking behind the dog, ready to get in on his action.... then, just as I pull it into the actual parking lot, the dog reaches the end of the sidewalk and takes a step onto the road... the cat makes a sharp turn to the left and then darts into the woods. It's at the turn that I realize, that is NOT a cat! What is it?? A silver fox!! Talk about a sly devil!! So, why am I blogging about a fox? Because this picture has been vivid in my mind for days and I've been trying to see what God is trying to tell me. Then tonight at Bible study, one of the girls says, "No matter where you go Satan's not too far behind." That was it, I knew what he was saying.

Even when we are our most "disciplined"... studying our Bible daily, seeking God, even when we feel like we are truly following God...the devil is right behind us... watching us,playing with us and maybe even laughing at us. When we're focused (nose to the ground) on something, it's easy to miss the things coming at us from behind. Peter says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." (1Peter 5:8) How can we be alert to what's behind us? A couple of thoughts come to mind. You can employ fellowship. Friends born out of love can "have your back" so to speak. They can tell you, out of that love they share with you, what they see coming or an area where you may need to dodge. Other than that, you can pray, and I don't mean that as a side note. A pastor said one time, "Prayer is the work". No matter how hard you feel you are seeking God, don't forget to pray. It can be instrumental in knowing what may be sneaking up behind you, coming around the next corner or seeing an indication of the next boobie trap ahead.