Have you been sent?

There's a lot going on in my life these days. There are a lot of things to be thankful for and a lot of things I just don't understand. We all know those mixed blessings. Not just bittersweet circumstances in our own lives, but times when we are overjoyed with our personal lives, but there are significant factors playing in those around us. Our family is in one of those spots. I'm so hurt and frustrated with a family member that I don't even know where to begin and I'm afraid that all this callousness I am developing will hurt my relationship with God. Can how we interact with others on an earthly/personal level affect our spiritual lives? I absolutely believe that. There's an old testament passage that says if we have problems with our "brother" we should go mend things with him before we bother to offer our sacrifices to God so our sacrifice won't be tainted.

I just don't know what to do. Have you ever gotten so frustrated, so tired of talking to what/someone who seems like a WALL?? That's where I am with this person. I'm tired of the battle. I'm frustrated, confused.... weary. I've been working my way through Romans in my devotional readings the past few weeks. Sometimes I feel like I do this out of rote instead of piousness but God can and does still meet me there. He taught me an interesting lesson this week. I'm in Romans 10. Many people know this chapter as part of the "Roman's Road" based off this passage:

Romans 10:8-13

But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: ⁹That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. ¹¹As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."¹²For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, ¹³for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

I found myself thinking, "Oh, if only my family member could get this. If only they would hear it and give God a chance." If only.... then, I read the next verses and this is the lesson God has taught me today.

Romans 10:14-15

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

It is not my job to make my family member believe. It is my job, however, to pray for them to HEAR the words. For someone to come to them and preach the gospel to them (not "judge" them). For someone to be sent. This person may or may not be me. And, it is my job, as a believer, to share with her as doors open, to encourage her. Not to tear her down like I want to when she hurts me. There will be a lot of area to mend here if this person is me, because I'm human, but what else can I do but pray? God is just. His will prevails.