Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Thirty, Flirty and Thriving!

"The body thrives when it's heart has a purpose." Thanks "Heroes" for the line that got me started blogging tonight after weeks/months of silence. How true is this statement? In my work, I see patients every day. Some are happy, some are thriving, some..... are not. For many, especially the elderly, it's like their fire is flickering...smoldering, but they've lost sight of something, or all hope in anything. It's sad when you see it. They lose their desires to even see the sunshine or talk to friends. If you're like me, you try and remind them of the things they like to do or people they like to see. But, if you can put a purpose back in there, they perk up in the meantime til I see them again. Think about it. Surely you've seen the face of a sweet old lady that just found out they're gonna have a new grandchild or great-grandchild. It just makes their day!! Even telling them about our upcoming family addition and explaining I'll be on maternity leave next time they come in makes them light up for a minute. It's really cute.

But this principle is true spiritually, too. Lately, I've been contemplating what to do about this Bible study I help with at a halfway house. In a way I feel like I should leave. In other ways, I feel like I should stay, like I would miss something if I stopped going. For the last few visits there, I have felt like it was a struggle to go...or even to remember it was my week to go. I didn't feel like I was much use to the girls. I didn't even want to prepare for the study. My body wasn't thriving. It wasn't my purpose to push myself to keep going. It was time to come out. After a lot of prayer and struggling, I finally asked God on 2 occasions to make a way for me to come out of the study without hurting anyone's feelings or putting anyone in a tight spot. The first time, the director of the house was there when I got there so all I had to do was talk to her.... but, one of the girls who had left the house was back and I had missed her so much, prayed and hoped for her to come back so much, and there she was! How could I leave when she had just come "home"? I missed my next visit there due to illness. Then, this week, I did the same thing. I prayed and prayed in my morning quiet time about what to do.... and then, later in the day, there was the director again. This time, it was just me and her. I knew then that God had been giving me what I asked for the first time, but I chose to ignore it!! Now was my time to act!

Nonetheless, I did speak with her and since then, I have felt so free again. Free spiritually. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders that was no longer mine to carry. Very nice. I am a child of God, therefore I know I have a purpose in his kingdom. The number one purpose is to glorify God, as vague as that sounds. Everything else is just a detail. So, I'll keep praying and figure out the next direction he'd have me to go. I hope you guys get a chance to find your purpose as well!!