wasted blessings

Ever since I kind of "restored" my relationship with God, I have had to remind myself that prayer is one of the strongest tools we can use as Christians. I forget all the time to pray. I hate to say that I even forget when someone asks me to pray for specific things. But as soon as I remember, I say a quick one. I wish I was more dilligent sometimes, like a true "intercessor", but I haven't worked my way up to that yet. Nonetheless, the Bible says that prayer avails much. That our prayers are heard. God answers them accordingly to his will. At one point in my life, I had almost daily low back pain related to scoliosis and a spinal birth defect I had when I was born. I wore a lift in my shoe to help keep my hips in balance and keep the pain at bay. The pain could get a lot worse some days, especially in the summer when all I wanted to wear was a flip flop or Birkenstocks that you couldn't get a lift in (without flinging it at someone as you walked). I wore that lift for over 20 years. A few years ago, I let a group of people at church pray over me that that pain would go away. It went away. 100%. I took the lift out of my shoe and it hasn't been back in there. Now, if I do something stupid (like try to lift a box of books) then I get what I deserve, but it's not the chronic pain I had before.

Recently, I was having pain from heel spurs and plantar fasciitis in my feet. Now that is some very painful stuff! If you have ever had them, you know what I'm talking about. The pain is progressive. The may hurt at first just in the morning, then just after you've been on them all day and taken a seat then decided to fix dinner. Then one day, it may be all the time. One way to help ease the pain when it gets to this point is to wear an Orthotic. That is, a mold for your foot/arches that you wear in your shoes. I would cry just thinking about it. I didn't want to put anything else back in my shoe. I know it sounds selfish and vain. But, God had set me free from the "chain" of that lift and I did not want to go back. I knew that if I could lose even 20 lbs and get the weight off of them that would just fix it. I could fix it. But every time I tried to exercise, I could hardly walk because of the pain with each step and there was no way to keep a true cardiac pace. I put up with the pain for a few months, getting worse and worse, then one day, at Bible study, I finally swallowed my pride and asked the ladies if they would pray for me. It was hard to believe that as I sat there, these women came and blessed me with their prayers. A few of them even had hands on my sweaty feet. I did not feel worthy of any of it. I did not feel worthy of healing. I knew I had been prideful, trying to fix the problem myself. I wasn't sure if prayer was going to work this time. Then the thought popped into my mind, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" I kept praying, please Lord, help me to heal these feet, I'll try to take better care of myself and lose some weight, etc. You know how we do. Why hadn't I just simply asked, "Lord, please heal my feet". Why did I have a "me" qualifier? So,after letting them pray, by the time I got home from Bible study, I felt like I could leap mountains and have no pain. I jumped up and down, nothing. Pressed on the former tender spots over the spurs, nothing! The next day, I pushed my limits, still, nothing!! God is so gracious and amazing ALL the time.

A few weeks have gone by and the thought struck me this week, "What are you doing with the blessing I gave you?" Now that is conviction. I knew immmediately what the referrence was to. I had gone for 1-2 walks since my healing. I had updated the Bible study ladies that their prayers were useful and I had spoken about it with one patient at work (who also had heel spurs). But, what am I doing with the blessing? Am I just holding it in? Maybe it means I'm supposed to share my testimony with more people (well, here's the blog) or maybe I'm supposed to invest the gifts God gives me in a better way. If I take the gift he gives me and bury it inside, who benefits from it? I'm sure I do. But how does it help the world? I believe that the purpose of God's will is to glorify himself. If I stock up my healing as a secret inside me, it is only me who glorifies God. But, if I share my testimony with others, say my mom for instance, she may glorify God for healing her litle girl from all that pain. She may be willing to ask for healing herself or be more open to praying for "impossible" things. If I share it with others who are hurting, they may reach out for God and ask him to heal them as well, or if they don't know him to start with, they might ask for a relationship with them so they can know someone so "glorious".

Once you have been given a gift from God, you should USE IT!! Water it, nurture it, grow it!! When you give someone a gift, doesn't it make you feel better to see them putting it to good use? He gave it to him so you could use it to gloriy him. What are you doing with the gift he gave you? Are you sitting on your butt writing blogs (like I am) or are you out there treating your body more like a temple and trying to get it back into shape? Are you giving love and kindness to the ones he blessed you with as family/friends or are you disrespecting them and causing them pain (to get attention or otherwise). Are you keeping your gifts a secret?

Lord, please help me to put the gifts you give me to good use. You have gifted me with a loving family, please let me respect and honor them. You have gifted me with a strong support group of friends/fellowship, help me remember to support and encourage them. You have gifted me with a wonderful, loving husband, help me to not take him for granted. Help me to support him and be the helpmate you planned for me to be. You have gifted me with emotional healing and unfailing love, worth and value, you gave me a purpose. Help me to never forget how far you have brought me and that you will always have a plan for me, that I matter in your kingdom. You have gifted me with physical healing, many times, times I did not even ask you to help, before I had enough faith to ask. Help me to do your will with this gift. Show me how to use it to glorify you. Give me the tools I need to take my next step in your will. Praise you for your goodness and greatness! How marvelous are your works!